I Like It Here

For much of her life, Mother lived in the fishbowl of small communities as a minister's wife.  When that life ended, she eschewed much of her previous social life and chose to live quietly in the woods keeping up only with family and a few close friends.  She liked the idea of being a "hermit," and in the early stages of Alzheimer's this drawing away from others became more pronounced until she had no real social contact outside of family. So for this very private woman, learning to live in an institution was a major life change.

What is amazing to me is that Mother has adjusted to nursing home life, but she can still play the role of the minister's wife.  It is so ingrained in her that even in the depths of the disease she can move from group to group greeting people.  Sunday as we walked the halls, she waved to staff and residents who called her name; her best smile - a real smile- on her face.  She walked up to individuals and shook their hands and asked how they were.  She introduced me to everyone - again- but with the best of manners.  Gone were the grimacing looks, the hateful comments, the coarse asides.  She was happy with the adulation of her friends and the staff.  "I like it here.  They like me," she grinned.   I was escorting a queen down the hall in her red gripper socks, swinging her hips and happy in her realm.