Vinegar and Brown Paper

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Up Jack got
And home did trot
As fast as he could caper
He went to bed
And mended his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

When I was a child, Mother would gather me in her lap and read the Mother Goose nursery rhymes to me.  I learned them all by heart with her reading them and talking about them.  We knew them all:  Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater,  Hey Diddle, Diddle, Mary, Mary Quite Contrary,  The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe and on and on.  I loved those moments nestled in Mother's arms, laughing and talking and enjoying the rhyme and rhythm the love and laughter.

Mother can still say many of the nursery rhymes with me.  We site close together these days with my arm around her shoulders, and we say the rhymes together.  When she can't remember, she watches my mouth and says the words just a split second after I do compensating for her loss of memory.  But sometimes she remembers the rhyme all by herself.  She will throw her head back and yell the line in pure delight, laughing as we used to do those years ago.

But as I leave the home, the moment of sharing still with me, some of the rhymes haunt me.  Humpty Dumpty falling off his wall and all the King's horses and all the King's men can't put Humpty Dumpty together again.  The dementia.  No one can put Mother together again.  So many parts of her mind are shattered beyond repair.  And much like Jack, even modern medicine seems like vinegar and brown paper in the face of Alzheimer's.  It is virtually palliative care, long term and sad. A patch that gives the impression of something being done, but the injury is way beyond vinegar and brown paper.  But that is all we have, so sometimes, like one of the King's men, I come with only a rhyme to try to salvage a bit of memory for Mother.  I know it won't stop the progression of the disease, but time together, sharing something of the past is my vinegar and brown paper.  My hopeless attempt to keep Mother from shattering further.