When Mother . . .

When Mother stopped planting her garden, we attributed it to old age.

When Mother became forgetful and had to write everything down and still forgot and became confused, we worried.

When Mother forgot how to use her bread machine, we packed it away and bought bread.

When Mother could not clean her house, we cleaned for her and hired a cleaning woman.

When Mother stopped cooking, we were thankful that she would not burn down the house, and we packed her refrigerator with homecooked food to be microwaved.

When Mother saw men in trees and lions in the grass and threatened to shoot them all, we took her 22 rifle out of the house.

When Mother refused to bathe and dress, we forced her to go to the doctor.

She cried and denied his diagnosis.

When Mother drove to the pasture instead of going to town as she intended, we took away the car keys.

When Mother could not remember to take her medicine, we bought an automatice pill dispenser with an alarm.

We found pills all over the house.

When Mother left her hair dryer going in the bathroom while she sat on the porch, we looked at each other and wondered about a nursing home.

When Mother forgot to eat anything but chocolate, we cried.

When Mother became belligerent and fearful in the home she loved, we moved her to a nursing home close to us.

All these things and more we could do.

Now, her memories of family are fading.  Now she can not find her room.  Now she is not aware of her sometimes public nakedness.  Now there is often vacancy in her eyes.

Now there is littlw we can do.  We simply weep and hold each other by the hand.