Old Lady Fights

One would think that life in a nursing home, in an Alzheimer's unit, would be monotonously the same, but it is not.  From time to time the full moon, or a weather front, or just the dynamic of group life creates an electric moment when all order disappears.

In the nursing home, the men may shout or get rough momentarily with each other, but with the women, it is another story.  They are more like adolescent girls, and they can get quite ugly.  At school, we know that boys may come to the brink of a fight, or they might even throw a punch, but it is over quickly.  On the other hand, a girl fight can be vicious, and the friends of the girls will take sides and join the fight.  It happens with the old ladies too.

In Mother's Alzheimers' unit, many of the residents spend time sitting in the dinning room/ lounge.  Mother has a favorite table in a small adjoining dinning area where she can see the TV and watch the other residents.  Recently, two of the old women were aggravated with each other.  One stood in the hall and threw insults at Lulu.  Now, Lulu is tall and thin, and has had a broken hip, which she will tell you hurts her terribly all the time, but the insults were too much.  She flew out of her chair, well maybe I should say, she hobbled more quickly than usual toward the insult thrower.  She was ready to fight, and went at the other woman as one would a stray dog.  She shooed her away, told her to shut her mouth, and threatened to slap her.

The woman retreated somewhat, but as Lulu returned to her chair, she decided to use an obscene gesture to make her final point.  Unfortunately, as Lulu's finger went into the air, I noticed that it was the wrong finger.  The other woman made a retort, and Lulu made her gesture again. I have to say that Mother had watched the whole thing intently.  Then Mother looked at me, grinned, and yelled," Up your ass!"

I have never heard my mother say anything like that before, but she was smiling and loved being in on the old lady fight.  Mother found some delight in the phrase, the finger and the whole situation and made her response again, only louder.  I suggested that she say something different, but on she went shouting again and again.

Finally, I said,"You enjoyed what Lulu did, didn't you."  She sipped her tea and gave me a wink and a smile.

Old lady fights.  I had to laugh.  The whole thing was hysterical.  Never a dull moment in the Alzheimer's unit.