Mother had a friend who when something bad happened would say, "That which we have greatly feared has come upon us." That is now the case with Mother. Some people with Alzheimer's tend to sexualize everything. That is the case for Mother. She would just die of shame if she knew some of the things she does. She flirts with any man, which is not too bad, but sometimes her behavior goes way beyond anything that is socially acceptable. That happened over the weekend. There were repairmen in the Alzheimer's unit, and Mother kept taking her clothes off in front of them. The staff had a terrible time getting her dressed and redirected. She did it three times.
I hate getting reports like that. What can I do? Nothing. What can the doctor do about it? Nothing really. When she gets like that, Mother has absolutely no control of herself. She has no idea that what she is doing is wrong and makes everyone uncomfortable. At that point her primitive brain is all that is working. And it is primitive.
Today was not much better. She was staying dressed, but she couldn't distinguish between yes and no. It took me a moment to figure out what she wanted. In the mean time, she yelled and hit and became distressed. Then she wanted a hug and a kiss. Her emotions were all over the board today, and she had a wild look to her eyes. I could only stay with her for about 20 minutes today. It was too hard. The Mother I knew was not present.
On days like this, my soul feels like it is under a rubble of rock. I think of what Mother's friend used to say, and I know that for Mother one of her greatest fears has come upon her. And there is nothing to be done.
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