Conversation

Mother is far enough into Alzheimer's that she sometimes makes no sense at all, but she believes she does.  Today was one of those days.  She was so happy, and she talked for 30 minutes solid and said not one thing that made any sense.  She talked about her husband and her brother and her mother-in-law and other family members.  In her mind there had been a fight because of a "mistake" the day before. Sometimes she said it was her mistake, and other times it was her brother, her husband or her mother-in-law who had made the mistake.  She kept trying to tell me about "that thing in the back yard" and then she rambled on about a spool of thread. "But everything is hugs and kisses now," she would say.  Then it would all begin again.  Occasionally she would get distracted and say, "I'll finish this later."  In 5 seconds she would be telling the tale again. If she was mad at someone in her story, she would shake her fist.  If she thought it was funny, she would slap her knee.

These days are difficult, because the cadence and tone she uses is her old self, but the words are just strung together.  I wonder what kind of jumble is going on in her mind because to her it was a coherent story.  She would wait for a response from me or just laugh at what she had said.  It was exhausting trying to give a satisfactory response. 

I watched her and I could see her face express a whole range of emotions. To her it was a story, and she wanted to share it.  Perhaps that is all we can be is a presence to share an experience even if we don't understand or the story makes no sense.  The important part is to be there and share it because at that moment it was so real to her, and her need was to tell and have someone share her story.